A LETTER TO MY MEMOIR CLASS

Well, here we are into the year 2015.  Some of us have been together for going on five years.  In that time we have created some memories and remembered some we had shoved into the back of our mind. We listen to our classmates read their homework and we remember more than we have time to write.

It has been a joy to watch every student grow in their writing.  I am so grateful some of you have been in class as long as you have.  Maybe you dont recgonize the progress you have made but others do.

You have made me a better teacher.  You forced me to have fresh, interesting lesson  plans each week.   I cannot put into words how your support and caring spirits have helped me with my chronic illnesses.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,
Darlene

My Memoir Class

Post retirement years can be fulfilling or they can be a bore.  This is   left up to the individual. But it saddens me to see senior citizens sitting and doing very little.  Not only do their brains get sluggish but their physical health suffers. I have an answer for some of these bored seniors.  Take a memoir  writing class.  In particular take my memoir class . Now don't read me wrong. I don't think mine is the only one but it has always been very special. I cannot explain it but I know that after one or two  meetings the class, for the majority, has come together as a group.  They learn to care for one another as they listen to other's stories.
Before the session is over the class has learned to write in slices of their lives, reducing to refine a great story, found their own voice, shed tears of joy and tears of relief  Some have come to new understandings about rifts in family relationships.  Others  find humor where they thought there was none, while others forgiveness is needed.
Memoir writing is not easy but together is rewarding and fun.
The fortunate teacher,
Darlene Eichler

SEE ASSIGNMENT FOR WEDNESDAY FEB 6. 2014

We will be discussing TRUTH in memoir writing.  Write a paragraph or two telling how you would
 or you will handle a truth that could be hurtful.

Write a slice of an experience in bad weather, such as being snowed in or stranded, flight delays, cancelled trips.  It can be negative or positive, humorous or serious.  Just a slice, please
.
Some people really like snow, I think it's an unnecessary freezing of water."
Carl Reiner










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BEING IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME

As some of you know teaching memoir writing is one of my passions in life.  Everywhere I go I see a potential for incorporating a new idea into my class. Sometimes it is just a new twist on an old idea. Just a few weeks ago I was in Southport, North Carolina n a wonderful gift  shop.  I started browsing among some books written by local authors.  Soon a lady walked over and introduced herself as a writer. One of her books piqued my interest after she told me it was a memoir.  She said that she had fourteen friends from childhood who kept in touch and had reunions over about fifty years. Eleven out of the fourteen contributed something to her memoir.  Here was another way to construct one's memoir.

 I was in the right place at the right time.

This past week-end we went to Bedford, Virginia for a family celebration.  I'm a long distance member of the Bedford Museum and have wanted to tour it for a long time. The Director was not there that morning but several nice staff members guided us to the special displays. After we finished the self guided tour we went to the gift shop.  The two women who had seemed to be going at the same pace as we were had arrived a few seconds ahead of us. The attendant began showing me books she thought I might be of interest to me.  One was a beautiful book of paintings done along with a memoir. Another aid for my teaching!

 The right place at the right time!

Then she said, "this lady did the book." It was one of the ladies we seemed to be following. We began to talk about writing in general and her book in particular.  I bought a copy and she bought one of Trunk Tales.  Both books are set in Bedford County.

 It was the right place at the right time.

On Saturday morning we headed to the family cemetery after stopping for some flowers. As we arrived and parked behind the church, a man came out the back door. He was cordial and walked over to ask if he could help.  We told him we were visiting and I was reminiscing about spending my summers in that area and attending the Church beginning as an infant. Soon it became known that he is the pastor of the Church. One thing led to another and he realized that he knew my sister and brother-in-law who run a bed and breakfast in town. He has two young grandchildren.  He was delighted to get a signed "Where's the Kitty" book?

 Another right place at the right time!

It seems to happen more often now.  Could it have anything to do with being a senior citizen?  It's possible.

MY HOMEPLACE-THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

OPPORTUNITIES--THE BEST GIFTS

Those of you who are parents have vivid memories of the early days, weeks, months and maybe years of the doubts and uncertainties of your new position as a parent. No doubt your thoughts took you back to your early childhood and how your parents fulfilled their roles. Let's be honest here and admit that we thought in most instances they could have done better. Now older parents and grandparents don't get your feathers ruffled--as our years of parenthood progressed we began to realize you were pretty smart. Don't you wish those "goody packages" given out by the hospital included an OPERATIONS  MANUAL? I would have quickly turned to the index and looked under Ts for Twins.  Yes, I began with two. Doubly blessed.

What phase or stage of rearing your children caused you the most consternation and sleepless nights?  Mine was keeping a good balance of the tangible and intangible--the things and the learning opportunities--the material items and the life skills. How would we as parents keep a balance between what our children wanted and what they needed? We came up with the idea of "learning vacations."  Our children were naturally curious and enjoyed helping to plan these jaunts.

                             CALIFORNIA, HERE WE COME!

It was June of 1972. The International Travelall (with two gas tanks) was securely hitched to the white Norris travel trailer which slept six, if you didn't mind sleeping on the kitchen table, filled with enough clothes and supplies for six persons for a month--almost. We were realistic enough to know that there would be items we didn't even know we would need all along the way.

I teach memoir writing and one of the first lessons is about taking small slices of your memoir to write about.  Adding too many details can make for a boring story.  Often the students are surprised when these slices are put together and they have an interesting life story that will pique readers interests. So, I've set out to write a memoir of our trip and I'll focus on one aspect. .... how we manage to have a wonderful trip on such a small budget.

As we slowly pulled out of our driveway in Radford, Virginia on a clear June day, the air seemed to be filled with electricity.  We couldn't believe the day had finally arrived.  I'm sure the "Driver of the Rig" was checking off items on his mind's list.  I had my clipboard in my lap, hurriedly scanning the list for anything that might have been overlooked. Before we had gone two blocks, "Mom, make my sister tell me how much money she brought.  I told her how much I have." I didn't expect this type of disagreement so soon.  They usually worked these things out by themselves. "I don't think it matters if you know how much money she brought.(Of course it did-they are twins.)Let's forget it and enjoy the scenery." No response.

We were headed for the Great Smoky Mountains.  Mountains! That word put  a queasy feeling in my stomach.  Although we lived in the mountains we had fairly straight roads and a choice to drive on the curvy ones.  One of the twins always got motion sickness.  I needed to be ready...the Smokys were known for bringing on this condition.

The first night would be spent in a rustic campground.  I think there was electricity. The children were not happy about the outside toilets.  We talked to them about their economy but on this first day of the trip economics were not important.  As it turned out this was a freebie...no one came around to collect the fee. This was noted in the record book.

We had a simple hot supper that evening and a quick breakfast of cereal and fruit the next morning.  We brought as many supplies from home as the trailer would hold.  I had bought specials at the grocery stores for weeks before we left.  We always prepared out meals when we were in a campground.  There were other days when we stayed in motels and we ate in restaurants.  I remember the day we entered San Fransisco over the Golden Gate Bridge.  I had a tray in my lap making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.  Add a piece of fruit and everyone had a nutritious lunch for a small cost. It was exciting to stop along the way in the San Joaquin Valley for fresh produce.  We talked about how some of these luscious products would end up back East on our families' and friends' tables.  I'm unable to locate my journal of the trip but I think I remember that we spent less than $150.00 for groceries.  Sounds impossible today.

As far as gasoline for a towing vehicle,it takes a lot.  Remember this was 1972 before the energy crunch.  We were fortunate to find gas for as little as nineteen cents a gallon in Texas.  That certainly helped  the average cost.  We were pleased at the total we spent for the round trip from Virginia to California.

Entertainment is important on vacations.  There were certain places that we agreed  not to miss.  As far as those that cost a large fee, we would limit them to three or four. Disney Land was a must. What a wonderful  opportunity to see so much of this beautiful country for a small fee or for free.  The wonderful National Parks are inexpensive and so different in the sights and wild life.  We decided to go through as many state capitals as possible.  We all learned a lot more about this vast country than we had known. The pictures and slides were used in my fifth grade geography class. My older son enjoyed fishing along the way.  The younger son learned to read by the road signs.

As I have mentioned before we stayed in moderately priced motels every fourth or fifth night to give everyone room to stretch, take a shower in a regular size bathroom.  No price could be put on what this did for morale.!

I will never forget the night of June 30th.  We were in Las Vegas and it was my birthday.  The temperature was 122 degrees and we knew we couldn't stand the heat in the camper.  We stayed in a motel in the city.  The children were fascinated with the brightly lit city teeming with people at 11:00 in the evening. I read months later that that was the longest day ever recorded. It certainly seemed that way!

This memoir is getting long and I will close with just a few suggestions if you are planning to make a similar trip.

1. Have enough cash set aside for emergencies.  Fortunately we didn't have any.

2. Plan your trip down to every detail because you will have forgotten a few things.

3. Know where you want to go and be aware of the cost.

4. If you're camping or have means of preparing meals, take along supplies.

5. Keep a diary and take lots of photographs.

6. Leave an itinerary with someone back home.

I would encourage families to take similar trips.  It is an experience the children will never forget and they will be the smartest kids in geography and history classes.

Written with fond memories.

Darlene Eichler

dargeeic@aol.com

SURPRISES IN MEMOIR WRITING

As I've commented in past posts about teaching memoir writing, it is one of the best jobs I ever had.  Everyone has a story and they are in class for a purpose...usually to learn how to record these stories in a way to entice someone to read them.  Along with this creative way to write their stories, they want to know how to preserve them for future generations. My objective, as a teacher, is to steer them in the right direction by using some tried and true techniques....road signs, if you will. The majority want to take a truckload along to mold into their memoir. I encourage them to dump a great deal of the truck's load....lighten up and make their job easier. After a few exercises of reduce, reduce and reduce, the writer becomes aware of how few facts it takes to be molded into a riveting story with reader appeal.

There are often surprises in memoir writing...some come to the student writing from the deepest recesses of the brain...others to the teacher as she listens to these memories too long forgotten.There is one lesson we do on "Speaking the Truth."  In it we look at different authors and how they handled family stories of pain and negative feelings. We read excepts from Angela's Ashes, by Frank McCourt, his memoir about growing up in Limerick. He tells his story with such feeling the reader is drawn in to the extent that she feels the pangs of hunger, breathes in the putrid smells of poverty, cries in sorrow for the living and the dead, and waited for McCourt's condemnation of his parents. It doesn't come.  He tells the truth, as harsh as that might be, but he is never cruel. It would have been easy for him to slip into that blame game, but he did not.  He could have asked his mother why she needed to spend money for cigarettes when weak tea often served as a meal. He could have lost respect for his father when a week's wages were spent on alcohol. He was critical but not cruel.

Several of my students have been surprised at the memories of family slights and hurts brought to the surface by listening to other students read their assignments.  They have brought these stories into the bright light of day, written them on paper and read them to the class. We listened intently, fighting back the tears, in some cases. A change had taken place.  The writer was different.  Possibly, a great burden was lifted, a sense of forgiveness filled the void. We didn't ask but we knew, the writer was different.

Comments are encouraged.

IS THE PLAIN TRUTH ENOUGH IN MEMOIR WRITING?

As I prepare to teach a class in memoir writing, I know which class will generate more questions. "Speaking the Truth." (In a previous post I talked about writing the truth, "The Truth and Only the Truth").Without a doubt there will be students who choose both sides of the issue---one will not embellish and will have a boring memoir, and another will use literary devices to enhance the story. Hopefully no one will be harsh in dealing with the truth. Readers will ask for more from the memorist who crafts the truth in such a way  as to draw them into the story.
     Judith Barrington, in her book, "Writing the Memoir,"(The Eighth Mountain Press ISBN 0-33377-51-7, 2002)  begins the chapter on"The Truth:What, Why and How" with this statement;"Those of us who write memoirs find ourselves speculating frequently about truth. What is it? How can one person know it? What is its relationship to facts?
     Barrington continues by saying,  "she felt that too much research could result in your realizing the story you have been carrying around in your head for so long could not be true. The dates don't match up or someone left before the other arrived. I  disliked research until recently, which may be why I chose to write memoirs for which I relied primarily on memory."
     In William Zinsser's "Inventing the Truth,"(A Marine Book, Houghton Mifflin Company, ISBN 0-395-90150-1, 1998), weighs in on some of today's  writers of memoirs.  "Today no remembered episode is too sordid, no family too dysfunctional, to be trotted out for the wonderment of the masses in books and magazines and on talk shows."  This book is an compilation of nine authors who are noted for their memoirs.
     Frank McCourt has been cited in other posts regarding his attitude toward his family, particularly, his mother, Angela.  In "Angela's Ashes," he marvels at the fact he survived it, and the second marvel is that he was able to triumph over it in "Angela's Ashes''beating back the past with grace and humor and with the power of language." In his books, McCourt, as do others, Hamil, Karr, and Wolff, represent the new memoir at its best, "it's because they were written with love."  They want the readers to know "they elevate the past."
     Russell Baker has always been one of my favorite writers. He was a columnist for the New York Times when he  wrote the first draft of "Growing Up." After finishing the first draft he realized he had written a "reporter's book."  He had witten about the Depression era and its effect on his family.  "What he left out was his mother and himself--in short, the story."  In order to rewrite the memoir, his life had to be reinvented.("Inventing the Truth, 1998, p.15).
     I think this quote from Russell Baker sums up the difference in auto biography and memoir: "The autobiographer's problem is that he knows too much--he knows the whole iceburg, not just the tip."
     I will close this post with a quote from Judith Barrington's book: "One thing we can probably agree on is that the truth, however we define it, is often hard to tell.  It can be hard to tell the facts of the story, and it can be hard to tell its emotional truth, too."


Your comments are welcomed.