Saturday, May 21, 2016

Detours In Our Lives

I grew up in a small village in the mountains of Southwest Virginia. Everyone knew everyone and also everyone's business.  For the most part it was a caring and good place to have grown up.  At the time I did not think anything about the clouds of pollution spewed into the air by the Radford Arsenal.  We had become used to our windows rattling every time they put off a test of powder(ammunition).  Our fathers brought home nice checks.  They had great benefits and everyone seemed glad to have the best paying jobs in the area, Although shiftwork changed the dynamics of the family m we managed to live a typical 50s life.  Most of our families escaped terrible disasters and life was good for the most part.

Then before we knew it we were adults with children.  Along with parenthood we faced many problems, some even tragic, such as the death of a child.  Thankfully we did not.  Our one big life changing event was our divorce after thirty-seven years. There are still wounds that will probably never heal.

Our parents on both sides have passed on.  They lived full lives but we all wish that we didn't have to see them suffer with cancer and other diseases at the end.  I wish they were still here to listen and give advice.

Now I have entered a time in my life where my dear sweet husband is coming to the end of his eighty-eight years. Most of my waking hours are given to his care.  I wish I could do more.  Hospice is an immense help.  If I were well it would be easier.  I want to do so much more but my body says, "no."  My emotions are up and down,  When I think about his suffering I feel selfish that I would want to keep him here in that state. When he is peacefully asleep under a narcotic's affect I want to say, "don't leave me.  I don't know what I will do without you.  Then I think of friends and acquaintances who have lost their husbands, some much younger  than mine.

Life will go on but I don't like this particular detour.  I am not alone.  Friends and family have been supportive.  I could not do without them. A huge thank you to all of you.  You know who you are.

And now I will close this post with a reminder to everyone.  Life is full of twists and turns, even detours but you can make the adjustment with faith and friends.

Thank you for reading this post.  I welcome comments.

Darlene Eichler,
Writer and Teacher